Southport Magazine

Alan and Kris Beasley at the Poplar Grove Kentucky Derby event in May 2012. This was the first time Kris ever wore her wig in public. Courtesy photo

Everyone’s cancer journey is totally different—no two are the same. So when our editor, Bethany, asked me if I wanted to share my story as part of National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I immediately said yes! And as I thought about what I wanted to say, I decided to make my story different from what you would expect—getting the details of my cancer out of the way and letting readers in on the good stuff.

I was 45 with no history of breast cancer in my family. In January of 2012, I felt a bump on my left breast. I asked my husband if he could feel it; he could and advised me to get it checked out, which I did. The nurse practitioner sent me for a diagnostic mammogram.

Next thing you know, I was referred to a surgeon for a biopsy and got the call that I had breast cancer. I was in shock. I could not believe it. Surgery was set for March 2nd.

I was stage two—and some other details that my husband could tell you. I am not a details person, never have been. I always seem to get my wires crossed, and the details didn’t matter to me. I had breast cancer, enough said.

I chose to have a lumpectomy with a breast reduction. The tumor was bigger than expected. Chemotherapy was required: six rounds, three weeks apart. I began the treatment in April 2012.

My hair started falling out after my first chemo treatment. I tried to hang on to it as long as I could, but ended up asking my husband to just shave it all off. Initially the thought of losing my hair was my biggest concern and fear. I loved my hair—I didn’t want to lose it! But in the end, it was nothing. It felt liberating to see myself bald in the mirror; I smiled.

I did lose every hair on my body: eyebrows, eyelashes—everything! Thankfully, I had a killer wig, and no one could tell it was a fake. It helped me fit in and not look like a cancer patient. I drew my eyebrows in and tried to use fake eyelashes. (Which are still a mystery to me—I can never get them to work!)

I was scared about the chemo, but I never got sick, and I never lost weight (that was a bummer). In general, chemo was OK.

The one part I was not worried about was the radiation, because everyone said it was no big deal, but it was the part I liked the least. It was every single day. I had to breathe a certain way during the treatment (because my heart is under my left breast and they didn’t want the radiation to hit my heart; holding my breath lifted my breast away from the heart), and I could never get it right.

Radiation just felt like a big pain in the butt. But it didn’t hurt, and each daily treatment only lasted 15 minutes. It just stunk having to go through that every single day.

Kris with her husband, Alan; daughter, Brooke; and Bichon Frise, Ozzy; on Thanksgiving 2012. Her hair just began growing back after chemotherapy treatment ended in October 2012. Courtesy photo

Come October 2012, I was finished with the treatment and my hair started to grow back. To me, I believed this was when things would get good again. I was over the treatment and things would get back to normal, right?

Wrong. For me, it was the hardest part of the journey. I tried to get back to normal but I couldn’t find normal anymore. I didn’t look like myself or feel  like myself. I kept trying to get over it, but I was freaking out. Of course, I didn’t want to tell anyone about my anxiety because, what was I complaining about? It was over! And I couldn’t really explain what my problem was without feeling like I was just a huge complainer, so I just kept trying to get back to normal.

It wasn’t until my oncologist, Dr. Arb, asked me how I was doing that I broke down and started crying. I was so embarrassed. I was all ready to say, “I’m doing great! So happy to be getting back to normal!”—yet I just started weeping. I was mortified.

She said that this was normal for many women after treatment and she suggested I go and talk with someone who deals with cancer patients after treatment.

I was in such a low place, I did just that. But I didn’t want to tell anyone, because I thought it would show weakness. And again, what was wrong with me? It was over and things were getting back to normal, right?

I went to see Sarah Brownlee of The Healing Partnership, and she helped me so very much. I never thought talking to someone would alleviate so much of my worry. She was so cool and easy to talk to. I was able to tell her exactly how I really felt about everything—it was awesome.

Sarah gave me some concrete tools to use to help me with my anxiety and stress. Eventually, I shared with those close to me that I had been talking to someone and how much it helped me.  I think being able to express myself to an outsider, someone that didn’t know me or my story, was liberating. And being able to tell an objective party your fears, dark thoughts, crazy thoughts, and funny thoughts was very therapeutic. I saw Sarah once a week for about two months total.

Here I am a year after treatment and things still are not normal. But I have come to realize that things will never be normal again. And part of that is just because life changes, whether you have had cancer or not. You can dwell on the negative or embrace the positive. I prefer the latter.

Many positives that came out of my journey. My relationship with my husband and daughter deepened. My faith in God kept me in peace and without worry. The love I received from family and friends was mind blowing—it still brings me to tears. My co-workers stepped up and covered for me while I was out. Doctors, nurses and health professionals provided great care with smiles on their faces. Businesses provided free services for me. I got a new, perky set of ta-ta’s! And I would have never started Southport Magazine if I hadn’t had cancer. This project was the catalyst getting me back into reality!

Let’s face it: Having cancer of any kind is a scary, life-changing experience. But if you pay close attention, you will also gain some blessings.

Run for the Ta-Ta’s
Sat., 10/5 • 8 a.m.
TrySports Field, 925 Town Center Dr.
Mayfaire Town Center, Wilmington
The Wilmington Plastic Surgery Run for the Ta-Ta’s is a 5k race and one-mile walk. The 5k is a “chaser race,” wherein women start first. Men start two minutes and 30 seconds later. The first participant, female or male, to cross the finish line, wins $1,000 cash. Plus, the top three men and women finishers will receive cash prizes. Many other awards are provided, including to the fastest breast-cancer survivor. Proceeds of the race benefit The Pink Ribbon Project at New Hanover County Regional Medical Center. One mile walk is $25 to register; 5k is $35 to register. Visit www.its-go-time.com/runforthetatas2013 to sign up.

Car, Truck and Motorcycle Show
Fri., 10/11 • 5 p.m. to 8 p.m.
Blue Marlin Restaurant
4419 Long Beach Rd., Southport
All years, all makes, all models, rain or shine. $1 per ticket to cast your vote for the Best of Show Award. The vehicle with the most money raised wins. Voting ‘til 7 p.m.; awards at 7:30 p.m. 50/50 raffle drawing at 7:30 p.m. Music from DJ Bill Vann. “Claudia” the pink fire truck will be there. Pre-registration to show requested; cost is $20 (100 percent tax deductible, includes one free voting ticket). Money raised will benefit Making Strides Against Breast Cancer. Info: (910) 471-6335 or sarahewhitmer@gmail.com. Ten percent of food sales for the evening will be donated, too.

Making Strides Against Breast Cancer
Sat., 10/19 • 10 a.m.
Cape Fear Community College
411 N. Front St., Wilmington
This event is part of a national fund-raiser by the American Cancer Society. Walk or run a 5k for the cure, and make a difference with every step you take! The course takes participants through downtown Wilmington with views of historic buildings and the Cape Fear River. Registration is $30. To sign up, visit www.its-go-time.com/making-strides-against-breast-cancer-october-19.

Rally for the Cure Golf Tournament
Tues., 10/22 • 11 a.m. shotgun
Members Club at St. James
4006 St. James Dr., St. James
The Clubs at St. James Plantation will be joining more than 2,000 other golf clubs throughout the country that are sponsoring a tournament to honor the lives of those touched by breast cancer. The proceeds from this event will benefit the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation. Scramble format for men and women. Enroll by calling Mike Himebaugh at the Players Club pro shop at (910) 457-0049, option 1. $70 per individual, plus any applicable golf and cart fees for non-golf members or those not on the cart plan. Includes dinner, cocktail hour, 50/50 raffle, participant gift, magazine subscription, silent auction and prizes.

Rock for the Cure Concert
Fri., 10/25 • 5:30 p.m. to 9:30 p.m.
St. James Community Center
4136 Southport-Supply Rd. SE, St. James
Performing for your dancing pleasure will be Mike’s Garage Band. Admission: $10; for tickets, call Susan Clune at (910) 253-4409. Proceeds will benefit the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation.