Southport Magazine

Now for something completely different, Beer – like it or not?
STORY by Jeff Stites
For April we’re going a little off-the- wall. I was inspired by April Fool’s Day to find some brews that might make one wonder what kind of fool would mix this stuff up together. Are these beers crazy good, or just plain crazy. Let’s find out.

Elysian Split Shot Expresso Milk Stout 5.6 ABV 28 IBU The Label Says: Split Shot combines the local talents of Elysian Brewing and Stumptown Coffee in a deliciously smooth, very Northwest beer.
My Take: I can’t say how “Northwest” it tastes, but it really is a “deliciously smooth” beer. Milk stouts are a mild version of stout invented in the late 1800s to satify a demand for more easy-drinking, less robust beers. They are made with lactose added to the usually stout recipe, and were originally marketed as having all the nutritional value of milk, but in a beer! Brilliant, right? Except it’s completely not true. Lactose imparts flavor and a bit of creamy mouth feel to beer, but nothing else. In England, it’s illegal to call a beer a “milk stout” for reasons of truth in advertising. The Northwest apparently has no such qualms. The coffee addition in this brew is very nice. It gives the beer an interesting flavor and a bit of bitterness different from that imparted by lots of hops, but it is in no way overpowering. This is a beer with mild coffee notes rather than a coffee-flavored beer.
Bell’s Kalamazoo Stout, Stout Brewed with Brewers’ Licorice 6% ABV The Label Says: Named after the city where it all began, Bell’s Kalamazoo Stout is one of our most classic recipes. This smooth, full-bodied stout offers a blend of dark chocolate and freshly roasted coffee, balanced with a significant hop presence.
My Take: This one isn’t bad at all, if you like big, bold stouts. This is the beer that inspired the creation of milk stout for those who weren’t as interested in this kind of complete and total beeriness. Is beeriness a word? It should be. Anyhow, if you like your beer beer-flavored, but not hopped into oblivion, you’ll love this stout. Sadly, I don’t think there’s any licorice in this. At least I couldn’t find any. I was hoping to use this as an excuse to wax eloquent about the joys of black jellybeans, but alas, it was not to be.
Innis & Gunn Rum Aged, Beer Aged With Rum Oak Chips 6.8% ABV The Label Says: This ruby-red beer has been aged with rum oak chips, resulting in a beer with a delicious warming character that is bursting with fruit and warming spiciness. These vibrant flavours perfectly balance the beer’s toffee-malt backbone which has led it to win numerous awards around the world.
My Take: I love Scottish ales and I love rum. This beer truly tastes like a well-balanced combination of the two, like a rum- flavored ale. You’d think that would be right up my alley, but it isn’t. I can appreciate the two flavor profiles. I can see that this beer accomplishes exactly what it intended to accomplish and did it well. The Scottish ale portion is flavorful and holds it own against a fairly strong rum presence. It’s not a bad beer and it might even be an excellent beer for a person who appreciates these flavors combined together. I’m just not that person, but I kind of wish I were.
New Holland Brewing Dragon’s Milk Bourbon Barrel Aged Stout 11% ABV 31 IBU, The Label Says: Rich, roasty and creamy with heavy notes of vanilla and just enough familiar warmth from oak barrels. Reminds us that all of life’s events- big or small- are worth celebrating. My Take: I’ve had this one before and didn’t like it one bit. I figured to give it another go for this article and I’m glad I did. It’s growing on me. Now, this is a thick one. They call it “creamy,” but I’m going with simply thick. I’m tasting more vanilla than I remember, which I like as it kind of moderates the bourbon. Maybe the last one I had had been on the shelf too long. I love bourbon and this stout has a definite bourbon flavor. It blends with the stout better than the rum did with the Scottish ale, I think. It’s a sipper to be sure, at 11% ABV, but one that I think is worth the time to sit down and enjoy.
Founders Breakfast Stout, Double Chocolate Coffee Oatmeal Stout 8.3% ABV 60 IBU The Label Says: The coffee lover’s consummate beer. Brewed with an abundance of flaked oats, bitter and imported chocolates, and two types of coffee, this stout has an intense, fresh-roasted java nose topped with a frothy, cinnamon-colored head that goes forever.
My Take: I’m almost out of breath from copying that description down, but I have to admit it does do justice to a beer with a whole lot going on. Let’s take it apart, shall we? First off, it’s an oatmeal stout. That means the barley is supplemented with oats as a base for the beer malt. Oats are common grain in Scotland and England and were probably included in most early beers in the region before barley became the go-to grain for brewers. Oats give a stout a warmth and a, well, a stoutness, that serves the style well. Then we have chocolate; two kinds, apparently. And it’s imported at that. Founders isn’t messing around with any of those domestically-grown cocoa beans! Beer descriptions are a very pretentious, which is a large part of the reason I include them. They are a prime target for poking fun. But in all seriousness, chocolate is a great addition to stouts and porters, and this beer uses it well.
Lastly we have coffee. I mean, why not? If you are having oatmeal, why not coffee? Breakfast Stout indeed. With chocolate, of course. I can joke about trying too hard to cram in too much all day, but it would be a lie. This beer is delicious. Every one of its many parts works smoothly with the others to blend into a truly satisfying, if a little complex, beer. And if 8.3% ABV doesn’t start your day off right, I got nothing else for ya.